PMS and A Quick Chocolate Fix

Maryann is suffering from raging PMS.  She can't even decided what pair of shoes to wear. To make her life better, we'll make the world's easiest cake.  My daughters were baking this cake from the time they were tall enough to reach the counter top.

crazy cake

I have had this recipe since my children were babies.  They grew up making this. It is kid friendly and fun to bake and eat. (Chocolate Crimes pg.4)

Combine :

1½ cups flour

1 cup granulated sugar

3 tablespoons cocoa

¼ teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon soda

Pour into an 8x8 inch pan. Make three holes in the batter.  Add one of the following to each hole:

5 tablespoons butter, melted

1 tablespoon vinegar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Pour:

1 cup cold water

over the top and mix thoroughly. Bake at 350° for 25-30 minutes.

You may glaze the cake with 1 cup of confectioners’ sugar, ¼ teaspoon of peppermint extract and about 1 tablespoon milk to make a smooth glaze. Pour over hot cake.

Maryann's Country Wedding

Maryann should have been more careful when she selected her bridesmaids, Veronica and Betty.  They kept arguing and falling over during the photo shoot.  I'm not sure whether they were intoxicated or just trying to upstage the bride. Here's hoping the actual wedding will go more smoothly. Oh well, on to the cake!

lady cake (wedding cake)

I love weddings and wedding cakes, but I get a little cross when I get something besides the TRADITIONAL white cake.  When I get the craving, I can make just one little pan for myself, or triple the recipe for a group. (Page 48 Chocolate Rehab)

Cream the butter and sugar.

¾ cup (one and a half sticks) butter

1 cup granulated sugar

Add flour and baking powder alternating with milk

1¾ cups flour

2 teaspoons baking powder

½ cup milk

Add extract and zest.

1 teaspoon almond extract

zest of one lemon

Fold in egg whites.

3 egg whites, beaten stiff

Bake in a greased 8 inch round pan with 2 inch deep sides at 350° for 48 minutes. This requires a pan with higher than normal sides when baking one layer. Double recipe for 3 layer cake using regular size 8 inch round pans, bake 43 minutes.

Barbie Always Thinks Pink

All the women in my Barbie Nation say, "Grin and bare it!" Take your mother, your sister, your grandmother or best friend to get a mammogram. What a wonderful way to say, "I love you."

Red Velvetish Cake

red velvetish cake 

I know this is not the traditional recipe, but I think regular Red Velvet Cake doesn’t have much flavor. I did retain the original frosting which is not the cream cheese variety one so often sees. (Page 21 Chocolate Rehab)

Before you start, don your disposable gloves unless you want to be sporting bright red hands.  This batter is a menace!

cake

1 cup cherry preserves

Process preserves in blender until smooth.  Set aside.

2 cups granulated sugar

1 cup (two sticks) butter

2 tablespoons buttermilk powder

½ cup dark European unsweetened cocoa powder

Cream the ingredients until light and fluffy.  Add eggs and beat 3 minutes.

4 eggs

Add:

1 cup processed cherry preserves

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Mix until incorporated and add dry ingredients:

2½ cups flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

Beat until combined and add:

1 cup sour cream

¼ cup water

2 vials (0.50 ounces) red food coloring

Continue beating until smooth.  Divide batter into 3 baby Bundt pans that are well greased.  Bake at 350° for 45 minutes.  Cool five minutes and remove from pan to cool.

icing

5 tablespoons Wondra flour

1 cup milk

Cook until thick.  Remove from heat and beat until smooth. Stir in:

4 ounces white chocolate

 Stir until melted and allow to cool. 

4 cups confectioners’ sugar

¼ cup (½ stick) butter

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Beat butter, sugar and vanilla and add to cooled milk mixture.  Beat until smooth and spread over the cooled cakes.

Betty waited until the last minute to don her lovely gown for the Red Cross fundraiser.  She opted for red satin to match the cake she made for the raffle. Personally, I think it makes her look fat, but she wanted to wear it. She is hoping to meet some movers-and-shakers while she's manning the raffle booth.  She tucked a few pictures from her portfolio in her purse, just in case.

Lucy, Gidget and Annette

Lucy is a swimmer who teaches high school physical education.  She owns the world's meanest cat, Ethel and is terrified of bees.  She is following in her mother's footsteps by falling for all the wrong men.  Lucy's biggest nemesis is financial...she can't balance her budget.  Her solution?  Get a credit card.

Gidget works for a non-profit and has a heart of gold. She is an animal lover and ahead of her time; a vegetarian.  Her father, Jim, is a cop and Myra's talents include being a champion pistol shooter.  She carries a burning torch for her boss, Kenneth.

Annette drifts through life in a clueless state.  She survives on the generosity of men, who find adorable and want to protect her. She works as a receptionist and can pretty well make it through the day as long as the phone messages aren't too complicated.

Ginger and Maryann

Maryann is a product of TCU Business School.  Her finace, Ken, is a rancher and she is one of the few female CPAs.  A ranch wedding is planned in a few weeks.  Maryann loves horses and won quarter horse events in her teens. She is looking forward to starting a family.Of all the Barbies, she is the most domestic and an accomplished cook. Due to her retiring nature, only her parents and Ken know that she has a glorious singing voice.

Ginger is a swinging single and the original party girl.  Her job as a free-lance magazine writer keeps her running with the chic and hip.  You'll frequently see her name in Maxine Messenger's column in the Houston Chronicle. She thrives on coffee and men. While she's all glitter on the outside, she fights the demons of her past: an abused mother, Katy and alcoholic father, Roger.

Meet Veronica and Betty

If you were a fan of Archie comic books, you will remember Veronica and Betty.  Well, I got pretty tired of the blonde always coming off as sweetness personified, so this go-round, Betty will be the villain and the brunette will be the sweet one.

Betty is a divorced (heaven forbid in the 1960's!) woman from New York City.  This unemployed actress migrated to Texas in search of modeling work, but she's slinging hash at IHOP while she's waiting for her big break.  She doesn't "get" Texas culture, fears the giant cockroaches and wouldn't think of calling anyone, "Sweetie." Her sarcastic attitude and New York accent are cutting into her tips.  She claims the only good thing in Texas is the Margaritas.  Her dirty little secret?  Her ex-husband, Kenny, is in jail.

Veronica is the pride and joy of parents, Mary Nell and Beau. She is single and works as a travel agent. She is very familiar with every piece of equipment at the YWCA and rewards herself for keeping in shape by indulging in copious amounts of chocolate.  Her dream is to write a best-selling novel. Veronica's shame is that her grand-daddy made the family fortune by running bordellos and white lightning.